its almost time

well with two days to go until im on dutch ground ive been washing clothes to see what i want to take , im very excited also sad because im missing my best friends birthdays, and this one the big 18 and im missing it. i guess that how life gets you, , but i been wanting to see my man for ages, its just very annoying that its on a friends birthday. but my mum will be there so hopefully that will be ok, but i know she will be fine because she got her friends family and boyfriend. so it will be cool. so yeah just to check in on the packing situation, there is none. lol packing means discisions and i not made any yet. so til saturday i still got to decode what to take lol. well i shall blog after i come back which is the 15/16 of august. so shall see you then bloggers. if i have tyime i will try and find the time to blog in bewteen packing and whilst on holiday but dont count on it lol love you guys xxxxxxxxx

relaxy taxi

lol been watching friends with momma and i just love that programme tis amasing. hope you ugys are doing well. i am about to get ready to go down town and see what my current account is looking like then buggering off to work lol ha xxxx so before i go i will tell you that i will be doing a blog before i go to holland hehe lol then a full report when i get back woohhoooo cya bloggers

am i excited or what :D

well only a week and 2/3 days till i go to holland to see my man :D im really excited ive missed so much and we get to spend our 1 year aniversary together, which he said is all up to him and its going to be romatic, i cant wait, the only scared thing im worried about is trhe flying lol but i need to get over that. finally i get to see him again and be with him for a while now. everyone says that long distance relationships never work, well in my defence there are things i could have done that shouldnt of happened that happened in the past, and im willing to forget because i can. as this is something i really dont want to give up . i really do love him and i know he feels the same about me and so i know i have to make this work and i will. since the last time ive been bad or drunk i should i have really thought about what i should be doing different as a person. i have needed to change things that make me feel like a better person and that it can maske the realtionship work and im willing to work at it. some of these things are nothing to do with it, but i feel that it can make me happy as a person. so for one im really want to stop the juice because although i do it at social gatherings it not me and although i get intised i can not do this, it makes me guilty , i dont want to lie about it, so i havent had juice since friday and i want it to stay that way, this is something that i really want to give a go and that i will make me happy and healthier. the othert things that im willing to cut down is the drink as im a sucker for hangover sometimes and its make ashamed of what ive done because of that drunkeness and i really sdont want to keep going down that path. and im also from this day forward am not going to get so drunk that im so clingy to my friend, i really dont want to be that person. and i want to prove to a certain blonde person that i can go down a streaight and narrow path even if they think that boring, well to me i have a boyfriend and i really dont want to riun what we have. so if this is what its take for me to be happy then thats whati will do. and no one can have a say on it excpet support me and be happy for me. so yeah these last couple of days and weeks been thinking on ahow be a better person and i only really realised that i should change from the other day and im not daying that event was a bad event it was a great night, but i just dont want to keep doing what i always do. well i feel like im rambling on which i am , but i will seee ya xx

whataya want from me !

whataya want from me? is the question im asking . lol nothing serious just a song from the one and only adam lambert american idol who was the winner of 2009 i believe, i love that song says a lot of things just dont give up is a strong message. some time i feel like giving up but i know i cant becuase a great bf and great friends who love me for being just me no matter how dipsy or blond i can be they still will be there to pick up the peices for me. its all about working it out and thats what is shall be, this message may seem pointless to whom reads itr but im letting it out.

well its all going good

so really the last i spoke was a long time a go, i finally got a nice job and so i can finally get my driving done lol, one stressing point i have to make is , you really truely know who your mates are , just because of one event all hell breaks loose and it really does but now it just the fact that they never were friends in the first place but i know i can move on with my real friends who i love so so much, and now very soon i get to see my bf yayyyyyyyyyyyy, i actually really cant wait im excited so bad hehehehehe and i get to see my oma too, but there is one massive down fall and that is i miss two of my best friends birthdays and that REALLY SUCKS with a capital S. :( , but i know deep down she will be ok because she has a man now and as much as i am proud of her i know that it will work and they can be happy. well i better get ready to go out :d will make more of an apperance x