Its Nearly All Over

hello everyone hope you all had a great Christmas, I had a great Christmas got spoilt loads and its still not over. we have a great new year to look forward to, going out with the gang and gunna have an amasing time, we got our dresses and meal is booked, everything is arranged and then the drinking commences and then it goes down hill from there,

also on this message I bring to you, a video from Christmas day, the mince pie challenge, this is just a quick hello.

and I hope you enjoy it, but the next time I write to you most likely be in the new year and then I will write a proper blog after I have got over my massive hangover hehe. still seasons greetings and and many happy returns be nice to on another. love to all

peace out Rhiannon

Friends Come And Go

I truly believe that everyone we meet, we meet for a reason. We have encountered this specific person for a purpose. We have friends who remain, friends who come in our lives but soon depart and friends who just pass by our daily lives. there is a reason sprinkled in our path that we may not even see at this moment in time.
There’s a quote that goes something like, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime,” which really resonates with my life.
 Each action has a direct impact.
Instead of dwelling on the pain of saying goodbye to a friendship, look at it as a chapter that was filled with many memories and now lessons that will forever live with you. Sometimes we are welcomed by friendships that aren’t meant to last forever, but are meant to teach us and help us grow on our beautiful journeys.
On the contrary, sometimes we have to learn when to let go and continue on our journey. It takes courage to stand up and realize that sometimes you need to move forward. This doesn’t mean things have to end nasty, it just means that you are mature enough to see that these people may be holding you back in a way that at this moment in your life is not what you want.

‘Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on out hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Flavia Weedn

Life is mysterious and relationships are just another addition to our journey. Through the ups and the downs we must appreciate it, for it’s all a part of who we are today. Not one of us goes through life experiencing perfect relationships; in fact, the only way to uncover life’s treasures is to experience them.

Merry Christmas Guys

Hello My lovely people and merry Christmas :)

my last two post were not the most happiest of content but was good to get it all out, I feel like since I have done that everything comes to light :).

so moving on swiftly,

my boyfriend is perfect and I am truly spoilt by his love . like no other.
I may this photo montage of us both, just some places we have been, great memories and more to come.

so there it is.
so Christmas is a pon us once again, and every year I say I will update you, but I cant promise that I will or I wont, but I sure know that you will get the best content in the new year.

so also my second youtube channel, has been on for over two months and I made a video basically saying thank you, here it is if you guys missed it :)

short and sweet .......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUhBT6kAoi4

 

so that is that one, i have made some other videos but i do forget to put them up here. but here the link to my main youtube channel if you guys are interested :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/rioplayer/featured


once again this blog is short and sweet, and i will be updating my insanity progress, possibly in the next couple days as i have done nearly 2 weeks of it but more will explained followed by a video :)

till the next time, keep it safe, real and positive , have a wonderful Christmas. and new year if im totally unhinged hehe as always love you and
peace
Rhiannon player

What Now ???

hello again anonymous people :)

hope your all well.

after my last blog, I felt there was a lot of confusion, still don't know what it all means, I feel bio-polar in the choices, I feel I cant even decide what I want,

so been listening to music, just to console myself, to try and figure out what is going on in my head.


the closest song that can closely resemble what I am feeling, is Rihanna new song "what Now"

I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weaker days
I'm stronger now, or so I say,
But something's missing

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Oh, oh, oh, oh! What now?

I found the one, he changed my life
But was it me that changed
And he just happened to come at the right time
I'm supposed to be in love
But I'm numb again

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just sitting there laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Please tell me
What now?

There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all
The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone
'Cause I spent every hour just going through the motions
I can't even get the emotions to come out
Dry as a bone, but I just wanna shout

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Somebody tell me
What now?

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know oh oh why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know oh oh why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why

So what now? 

but when I listen to this, it answers what I am feeling somewhat, but actually still doesn't progress anywhere.

the answer is me, but I don't know how to do any of this. at all.

if you asked me whats wrong I would lie, I feel and am a different persona. I so want to be that person that everyone see's right now but I feel the cracks beginning to seep through.

if I break this then I don't know how to continue, because of the people that I have built around me.

I have become attached to them.

and don't want to hurt them, I feel like I can have a future with these people. but its very easy to trap yourself,


I feel so stuck,.................
I don't know what to do anymore
I love him so much



is it possible to want two lives so much

I love this life I have a made, and everyone in it. but when I am alone I keep thinking about my second life I so desparately want and need but also want to try and forget.


its driving me crazy,

this right here blogging is the only escape I have not even my closest people in my life know what im on about or going through.


when night falls is when it hurts the most.

stuck between two lifes that I would rather pull together to make one. god I don't know........

I guess I get closer to the answer everyday, so until the next time.

be safe, make the right choices for your self, be the best and have the best.
peace
Rhiannon

is it a gut feeling or just a passing thought

hey everyone, hope your all doing well,
at this point in time im feeling confused a little bit, title is pretty self explanatory but im not sure which one im feeling,

you know if you have something that you know is great and wouldn't change for anything or anyone and you couldn't be happier, and then for some unknown reason you feel guilty for thinking its not good,
basically split down the middle thinking these thoughts to whether if you changed it all would it be for the better, its like living two separate lives,

if your confused in what im talking about then im with you, but putting words on this blank page knowing that no one actually looks at this is like a safe haven,

ive known I liked the same sex for quite some time and I haven't kept it a secret as such, just as and when people have asked I have answered them, a lot of people wouldn't know this because I tends to have boyfriends rather than girlfriends that's fine.

I support the scene one hundred percent, half of the social websites I feel connected and am accept and proudly show who I am.

even doing that doesn't make me happy, in a way that I feel guilty that I should be more happy.

im in this great relationship, that I can see potential in the future, and hes a great guy and im very lucky to have met such a funny, cute ,sexy caring guy. but yet I still feel bad that im not completely in tune with my self.

I don't know how to feel emotionally, physically, with me everything points to me being the person that no one wants me to be,

you see they have a perceived judgement of me and want to change every bit of it,

regardless of how I feel.....
whether its
make up, hair, how I dress

be more girly Rhiannon
take your handbag with you

you don't need a wallet, have a purse in stead,

make yourself look nice
wear more make up,

don't get to muscly,
you don't need to get a six pack, its too boyish

wear a dress,

do this, do that, because they care about me and its good for me !!!!!!!!!



im not sure if this is a rant or a cry for help

putting this out online is dangerous enough. just because im too scared of what they might think, I don't want to change what I have but why do I feel like this,



making people happy is to easy, but im not making myself happy,.


cant tell if this is gut feeling or just a passing thought ...........

Insanity Workout

Hello beautiful people,
so today blog is about the insanity workout that I have started doing from today onwards for 60 days, 6 days a week 1 rest day for two months, I have done my first fit test and tomorrow will be my second day, I think this work out will work and have amazing results by the end of the two months, this will now be down to my ability to be motivated and strong in mind body and soul,

here is the first photo I have taken today, and I will the proceed a photo every week or just have a surprise at the end of the two months and hopefully seen a dramatic change hopefully.

so this is what I look like now.

 

they always say when your in a relationship you tend to get comfy, well I have definetly been lacking in the fitness department. so this workout with shaun T who is the creator of Insanity workout and many others will be with everyday for 60 days getting me through this gruelling process,

 

so watch this space,

 

I advise you guys to check out the trailers, you can do it your own home, its cheap and you will get results

so wish me luck, and will keep you updated.

Remember dig deeper

 

peace

rhiannon

the sugar high challenge

so I have not posted for a little bit due to having to much fun , no honestly my other laptop didn't want to work for me so I now using this on my new laptop.

made a few video since I last came on here, 4 to be exact. they will come shortly the first video is from my challenge channel, we did the sugar high challenge so here ya go

enjoy hehe,
will be posting again soon to reflect and other stuff but for now chow down on some sugar
peace
rhiannon

Depression

So The reason I blog again to today as in the last post I said about some new things, I can now tell you that I made a video on depression, how I perceive it and that a message needs to be spread, the way  I see it is , two people, the first person is how you want the world to see you, happy and that keep them quiet the second person is the real problem where you are keeping the pain down so deep that it hurts and trying to keep the happy side of you out is hard, in the darkness comes out and controls how you think feel and your whole life can be nothing but silence and pain. something that you cant feel you can get out of. and in the end the only way you feel like you get any relief is the one way that I don't prefer. this is why I made this video to make people aware that this goes on all the time every day. one minute your happy the next your not.

I want them to know that they are not alone and that we are here to help. its time to talk about it and gradually help them overcome this painful battle.

so I hope you can relate to this and be able to share this and help make people with depression know that we are here and can help them regardless.

Being alone is no longer and option

 

Peace Rhiannon

Something NEW !!!!!

Hey Everyone, hope all is well, I am certaintly grand :)

so today I would like to update you on a few things
the first of course being the challenge video and without out further a do, I present to you ....

the doughnut challenge, was fun to do so check it out and see who was the fastest.


The Next thing I would like to address to you in a few words is depression and is a new project of mine, im currently working on a video that will go up on my main channel, am hoping to get it up this week if not next week at the lastest. but will upload the video in another post with full explanation.

have an awesome night/morning/ middle of the day where ever you are.

peace Rhiannon

A Tidy Room Makes A Tidy LifeStyle :)

Hello everyone, has been two days since I last posted, to be honest was with the boyfriend, were still going strong as ever :) <3 p="">
 now my title is a weird one you may ask well, when it comes to my room, its can be messy as ever and I always want to move it around. my washing pile seem to build up out of nowhere and impossible to control.. and plus plenty of man hours to demolish it, that being said once its done. you have a clean room and clearer mind which means a better sleep for me,

my sleep gets disrupted a lot with bizarre dreams and constant waking ups, sleep talking ,sleep walking and completely trashing my room, I have even put up dream catcher up and wearing a health bracelet to control my sleeps, but some nights it still seems to creep up on me, so now I have come to the conclusion that mess is the source of my sleeping problems, tonight will be the deciding factor on whether my methods are correct.

but on other better news and that were always waiting for another challenge video from yours truly.,.........

 

and tomorrow we will be doing a brand new one so please don't be hesitant to watch it .

so without any other discussions I bid you a pleasant goodnight and will be back very soon, wish me luck on the sleep department ;)

 

Peace Rhiannon

 

Feeling Lonely

hey guys, I know I just sent out a rather happy and upbeat video and your quite right I was upbeat and happy but sometimes I feel lonely, even when im surrounded by many people who I love.


I never quite got to grips with feeling lonely and still having virtually everything not in a spoilt way but I mean as in people, family and such. but even if your life is crazy hectic, there are times lately where I still feel so disconnected with the world and feel completely alone.

now my life schedule is busy continuously whether I be at work, college, football, seeing my boyfriend, family and other things that go with it, but as I sit here in my bed, I am still very much alone and that the thing I cant get my head around, why can someone like myself be very busy but so lonely. 

I wish I had the answers to these things. I guess a lot of things have and need to change. I know before friends come and go, people move on and live a completely different life. moving in, babies etc.

at the minute that's not for me. I have a lovely and perfect boyfriend, he is everything and more for me, he is not the cause of my problem at all.

when we see each other its great no doubt about that.

I often turn my main concern to my friends or lack of friends actually. we go through life and many friends come and go through with you and when it comes down to the actual fact I can only count a few friends on one hand that actually are decent to me, don't take me for granted or become my friend when necessary.

one hand to count a life time of friends that have come and gone its totally crazy but so real, I guess my message is that life is precious and when you meet people they either in it for liking you for yourself or they like what you have and see what they can benefit from you.

I will always remember that factor.

I know what I have and will always cherish it, friends family and boyfriend.

so don't get trapped in the place I was. happiness needs to be earned I feel, and if you work for it then you can get everything out of it in the right way.

sometimes there is no one out there for except anonymous people through the internet. you guys who ever you are that look at these blogs, thank you for taking an interest and know that you guys keep me going through this website.

there is a way forward.
so thank you.
peace, Rhiannon   

Video time !!!

Hey you special blog buddies, I hope your day has been very interesting and you have achieved or done at one good deed for the day, for me my good deed of the day is smiling, a smile can help anyone.

so its time to give you another video from my second youtube channel, well here it is :) .......

The toxic waste challenge, was a very sour test, who do you think won. as always there is plenty more.
so you be sure to check it out and any previous videos from these challenges.
thank you for anonymously visiting my blog. I love every single one of you.


bye for now.......
peace rhiannon

The Next Day

Hey guys, now yesterday marked a very special day as I gave you the chance to look at a new challenge video from my new youtube channel, and today that's right you guessed it, you get to see another one.

wow you must be thinking were so lucky and that you are :)

so without further a do .......

so this is the chubby bunny challenge , now your not only getting just this channel material, your also still going to get my main channel material, you guys are so lucky. but I wont bombard with it all at one time,. like I said yesterday im playing catch up which means you may have already seen this video on another website. :) so please enjoy this video. I will come back soon again to tell you my thoughts and everything else.

chow for now space buddies :)
peace

New Month, New Things :)

Hey Told ya I be back at some point, now Halloween has been and gone and fireworks had just come and gone, if ya lucky I let you in on a sneak peek vid, but that's not why im here, today im here to tell you that I have a second youtube channel, and this channel involves new challenges every Wednesday yep every Wednesday, nothing can get better than that, whats that I here you say, "can we watch it now?" Of course you can right below .......

this being the chilli challenge, now I know I don't have a lot of viewer  but its here if you fancy watching.
I will post more of these videos as I upload them, of course I have done 5 challenges already so I have to play catch. but all in good fun, its now all down to you, see you again soon :)

New Chapters

Hey Everyone, this site gives me the freedom to speak and do as I please as an outlet, I can be who I want, so things are changing and have changed, I am now re-doing some modules from last years course, which is ok because I will benefit from it, and once I have done that I will study in criminal profiling,


after I have done this, I will be saving up to go travelling with my boyfriend, around Europe first of all and then carry the adventure on, the reason for this message is because I do hope to use this as one of my blogging diaries along with the adventure :).


whether anyone see's it or not I have the chance to go back and look at this :).

so if you are an anonymous viewer then maybe you will want to check back in a years time to see how im doing, or you can follow me and be updated, with stuff that will be happening in the mean while :) but all will be explained in the next video :)



so please have a great day, to anyone who comes across these messages .

Rhiannon

Wrecking Ball

I joined the phenomenon of Wrecking Ball, miley cyrus lastest music video rauchy and sexy I tried to copy it, failed miserably 
Hope you enjoy it
peace x

Time capsule into cyberspace

Again a new year and believe me this has been the year for me, still in the same job, have the same car, have a new boyfriend of 6months+ and to be perfectly honest hes the one :), things are always on the up and things can go on the down but if you look after what you have got then you can get through anything and everything together,

there is my boy, :) so without further a do, I will update, lots to be said and done, even if no one looks at this, to me its a diary than can get lost in cyber space for some one in the near future to find, like a time capsule. :P so I bid you farewell my unknown stalkers :D till next time :)