Its Nearly All Over

hello everyone hope you all had a great Christmas, I had a great Christmas got spoilt loads and its still not over. we have a great new year to look forward to, going out with the gang and gunna have an amasing time, we got our dresses and meal is booked, everything is arranged and then the drinking commences and then it goes down hill from there,

also on this message I bring to you, a video from Christmas day, the mince pie challenge, this is just a quick hello.

and I hope you enjoy it, but the next time I write to you most likely be in the new year and then I will write a proper blog after I have got over my massive hangover hehe. still seasons greetings and and many happy returns be nice to on another. love to all

peace out Rhiannon

Friends Come And Go

I truly believe that everyone we meet, we meet for a reason. We have encountered this specific person for a purpose. We have friends who remain, friends who come in our lives but soon depart and friends who just pass by our daily lives. there is a reason sprinkled in our path that we may not even see at this moment in time.
There’s a quote that goes something like, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime,” which really resonates with my life.
 Each action has a direct impact.
Instead of dwelling on the pain of saying goodbye to a friendship, look at it as a chapter that was filled with many memories and now lessons that will forever live with you. Sometimes we are welcomed by friendships that aren’t meant to last forever, but are meant to teach us and help us grow on our beautiful journeys.
On the contrary, sometimes we have to learn when to let go and continue on our journey. It takes courage to stand up and realize that sometimes you need to move forward. This doesn’t mean things have to end nasty, it just means that you are mature enough to see that these people may be holding you back in a way that at this moment in your life is not what you want.

‘Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on out hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” ~ Flavia Weedn

Life is mysterious and relationships are just another addition to our journey. Through the ups and the downs we must appreciate it, for it’s all a part of who we are today. Not one of us goes through life experiencing perfect relationships; in fact, the only way to uncover life’s treasures is to experience them.

Merry Christmas Guys

Hello My lovely people and merry Christmas :)

my last two post were not the most happiest of content but was good to get it all out, I feel like since I have done that everything comes to light :).

so moving on swiftly,

my boyfriend is perfect and I am truly spoilt by his love . like no other.
I may this photo montage of us both, just some places we have been, great memories and more to come.

so there it is.
so Christmas is a pon us once again, and every year I say I will update you, but I cant promise that I will or I wont, but I sure know that you will get the best content in the new year.

so also my second youtube channel, has been on for over two months and I made a video basically saying thank you, here it is if you guys missed it :)

short and sweet .......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUhBT6kAoi4

 

so that is that one, i have made some other videos but i do forget to put them up here. but here the link to my main youtube channel if you guys are interested :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/rioplayer/featured


once again this blog is short and sweet, and i will be updating my insanity progress, possibly in the next couple days as i have done nearly 2 weeks of it but more will explained followed by a video :)

till the next time, keep it safe, real and positive , have a wonderful Christmas. and new year if im totally unhinged hehe as always love you and
peace
Rhiannon player

What Now ???

hello again anonymous people :)

hope your all well.

after my last blog, I felt there was a lot of confusion, still don't know what it all means, I feel bio-polar in the choices, I feel I cant even decide what I want,

so been listening to music, just to console myself, to try and figure out what is going on in my head.


the closest song that can closely resemble what I am feeling, is Rihanna new song "what Now"

I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat
I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weaker days
I'm stronger now, or so I say,
But something's missing

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Oh, oh, oh, oh! What now?

I found the one, he changed my life
But was it me that changed
And he just happened to come at the right time
I'm supposed to be in love
But I'm numb again

Whatever it is, it feels like
It's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror
Whatever it is, it's just sitting there laughing at me
And I just wanna scream

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Please tell me
What now?

There's no one to call 'cause I'm just playing games with them all
The more I swear I'm happy, the more that I'm feeling alone
'Cause I spent every hour just going through the motions
I can't even get the emotions to come out
Dry as a bone, but I just wanna shout

What now? I just can't figure it out
What now? I guess I'll just wait it out (wait it out)
What now? Somebody tell me
What now?

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know oh oh why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know oh oh why
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to feel
I don't know how to cry
I don't know ow ow why

So what now? 

but when I listen to this, it answers what I am feeling somewhat, but actually still doesn't progress anywhere.

the answer is me, but I don't know how to do any of this. at all.

if you asked me whats wrong I would lie, I feel and am a different persona. I so want to be that person that everyone see's right now but I feel the cracks beginning to seep through.

if I break this then I don't know how to continue, because of the people that I have built around me.

I have become attached to them.

and don't want to hurt them, I feel like I can have a future with these people. but its very easy to trap yourself,


I feel so stuck,.................
I don't know what to do anymore
I love him so much



is it possible to want two lives so much

I love this life I have a made, and everyone in it. but when I am alone I keep thinking about my second life I so desparately want and need but also want to try and forget.


its driving me crazy,

this right here blogging is the only escape I have not even my closest people in my life know what im on about or going through.


when night falls is when it hurts the most.

stuck between two lifes that I would rather pull together to make one. god I don't know........

I guess I get closer to the answer everyday, so until the next time.

be safe, make the right choices for your self, be the best and have the best.
peace
Rhiannon

is it a gut feeling or just a passing thought

hey everyone, hope your all doing well,
at this point in time im feeling confused a little bit, title is pretty self explanatory but im not sure which one im feeling,

you know if you have something that you know is great and wouldn't change for anything or anyone and you couldn't be happier, and then for some unknown reason you feel guilty for thinking its not good,
basically split down the middle thinking these thoughts to whether if you changed it all would it be for the better, its like living two separate lives,

if your confused in what im talking about then im with you, but putting words on this blank page knowing that no one actually looks at this is like a safe haven,

ive known I liked the same sex for quite some time and I haven't kept it a secret as such, just as and when people have asked I have answered them, a lot of people wouldn't know this because I tends to have boyfriends rather than girlfriends that's fine.

I support the scene one hundred percent, half of the social websites I feel connected and am accept and proudly show who I am.

even doing that doesn't make me happy, in a way that I feel guilty that I should be more happy.

im in this great relationship, that I can see potential in the future, and hes a great guy and im very lucky to have met such a funny, cute ,sexy caring guy. but yet I still feel bad that im not completely in tune with my self.

I don't know how to feel emotionally, physically, with me everything points to me being the person that no one wants me to be,

you see they have a perceived judgement of me and want to change every bit of it,

regardless of how I feel.....
whether its
make up, hair, how I dress

be more girly Rhiannon
take your handbag with you

you don't need a wallet, have a purse in stead,

make yourself look nice
wear more make up,

don't get to muscly,
you don't need to get a six pack, its too boyish

wear a dress,

do this, do that, because they care about me and its good for me !!!!!!!!!



im not sure if this is a rant or a cry for help

putting this out online is dangerous enough. just because im too scared of what they might think, I don't want to change what I have but why do I feel like this,



making people happy is to easy, but im not making myself happy,.


cant tell if this is gut feeling or just a passing thought ...........

Insanity Workout

Hello beautiful people,
so today blog is about the insanity workout that I have started doing from today onwards for 60 days, 6 days a week 1 rest day for two months, I have done my first fit test and tomorrow will be my second day, I think this work out will work and have amazing results by the end of the two months, this will now be down to my ability to be motivated and strong in mind body and soul,

here is the first photo I have taken today, and I will the proceed a photo every week or just have a surprise at the end of the two months and hopefully seen a dramatic change hopefully.

so this is what I look like now.

 

they always say when your in a relationship you tend to get comfy, well I have definetly been lacking in the fitness department. so this workout with shaun T who is the creator of Insanity workout and many others will be with everyday for 60 days getting me through this gruelling process,

 

so watch this space,

 

I advise you guys to check out the trailers, you can do it your own home, its cheap and you will get results

so wish me luck, and will keep you updated.

Remember dig deeper

 

peace

rhiannon

the sugar high challenge

so I have not posted for a little bit due to having to much fun , no honestly my other laptop didn't want to work for me so I now using this on my new laptop.

made a few video since I last came on here, 4 to be exact. they will come shortly the first video is from my challenge channel, we did the sugar high challenge so here ya go

enjoy hehe,
will be posting again soon to reflect and other stuff but for now chow down on some sugar
peace
rhiannon